another million dollar idea

dirtyswampwitch:

brawlr. it’s like grindr but for finding locals who want to fight

supersmashthestatebros:

okay, I lied. I don’t have my license to kill, but I do have my learner’s permit. as soon as my mom gets here, you’re toast.

i don’t want to be an arctic monkeys song i want to be a she wants revenge song or an interpol song

fleeten:

don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense

metlocked:

whosbeendrawingdicks.mp3

amerlcanscareparel:

u call me dumb?? i have straight A

u call me lame??? i am cool ass heck B)

u call me gay????? well

Anonymous whispered: This is gonna sound so stupid but what is a fuckboy? lol

rememberingsuunday:

fuckboy symptoms:

  • timothy over here askin’ for nudes when all u did was say hello
  • connor who won’t calm down with his axe spray tryna infect ya lungs
  • colin adding #420 to his bio when he smoked weed one time
  • gregory mad cause u didn’t blow him after the first date

how to spot a fuckboy:

  • white nike tube socks with his adidas sandals
  • he wants to play 20 questions (!!!!!!!!! do not play !!!!!!!!!!! especially if there’s a “;)” involved)
  • relies on his mom but doesn’t respect women
  • looks like he just read one of jaden smith’s tweets in all of his selfies
  • can’t find the clitoris

fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes and results may vary but when he a fuckboy…he a fuckboy…and u will know

bonsoirgrenouille:

cash or credit, fuckboy

spankmehardbarry:

muthafuckin pigeon better keep his filthy ass off my mattress or imma kill a bitch

playbunny:

that awesome feeling when you know that despite not talking to a friend everyday or even after a very long time that you’re both still cool

image

skyecandi:

overheard at the dominos I work at:

"pizza seller. I am going on a delivery and I need your strongest pizzas."

"you cannot handle my strongest pizzas, driver"

no where else to put this

It sounds daft and cheesy, but I’ve always wanted to go to one of those little parking lot fairs with someone I love. Never got the chance to go with prior boyfriends, but now I’ve got the chance.

Thrift store trip for our Halloween costumes and going to the church fair is seriously so mundane, but it’s with him so it’s so so so much better. I can’t wait to kiss him on the top of the ferris wheel, see him get really excited over winning me a prize, get churro sugar all over his mouth, and then kiss him again and again and again.

I love you, Mark. I can’t believe we’ve felt this way since the 7th grade. I can’t believe we’re here now. I want my love for you to be with you until we find each other in our reincarnated selves. I want to wake up to you every single morning and never let go of these feelings. I love you, Mark.